The Prettiest Smiles Hide The Deepest Secrets

April 22, 2015

So it has been while since I've sat down and wrote a Dussolophy post but today I felt the need to, let me explain, I don't suffer from bullying but I get hate from some girls on my school only because I'm just me and I've convinced myself that their comments or thoughts about me couldn't affect me but they do, it hurts like knifes, I am a pretty sensitive girl and I still haven't understood why some people hate me, until now the only explanation I got is "because she's fake and I hate her", hate is such a strong word how you can hate someone without knowing how they really are underneath, how you can tear apart someone who yesterday was friend, I just can't understand hate, what have I done that was so hateful that now they hate me?

All I try to do on the daily bases is to make others smile. I've never felt so alone and unwanted, I feel like people don't even try to know me before they judge me they just believe in the rumors and that breaks my heart completely, it's hard faking that you are strong and that others opinions don't tear you apart but it doesn't work in that way, hate it's something hard to deal with and let's keep it real I'm not the strongest person ever and this blog is my only escape, yes I have friends but for them I am that hilarious and goofy person they don't know how I am underneath the smiles and jokes, I swear I just can't keep it to myself anymore, it's so damn hard, this blog is supposed to be a fashion blog and here I am writing this. I honestly don't know what to do with the hate these girls give me, how you can hate someone just because their being themselves?

I can't even think on someone I hate, hate is such a powerful word and I'm not an attention seeker, I'm human and sometimes people just can't take it anymore and sometimes we just need to let it all out, this post is the most personal post I've published, I am reaching that point where I just can't take it anymore, I just need someone to understand me, I am only human, I'm not that strong, words can bring me down, my smile doesn't mean that I am happy with myself and I am insecure. I'm just not perfect and I am broken and nothing or no one can fix me.


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